This day last year was the day I saw Irwin for the last time. I remember the picture so crystal clear in my mind. I took him to the airport in Munich because it was the end of his visit in Germany. He wore blue shorts and a white polo and his only carry-on was the book "Anna Karenina". His hair in a pony tail, he walked up the escalator, smiled and waved, and was gone. I remember standing there for a while to maybe get another glimpse at him.
It is really bizarre that this hit me sometime during work today. I was thinking about our last vacation and went back to my blog entry from last year. And it was exactly May 28. Sometimes things are just weird.
It was a tough day today, but I made it. I just stayed super busy. Which is no problem at work because I have actually too much to do, especially since I am going to be on vacation next week. And when I came home, I mowed my lawn and called friends.
I have been through a lot of "That is the first time without Irwin..." and lately it has changed to "That was the last time with Irwin...". Well, in June it will be one year. Unbelievable, how fast this first year without him went by. The next few weeks will be rough or maybe not, but I know I can get through. I have lovely friends and a great family - with a new baby - and I have a bunch of plans for the summer. I have to say, I have been so much better lately but I don't think the big void that Irwin, the person and the friend, left behind will ever go away.
Comments (11)
I wish I could give you a great big hug right now. You have done so well this past year! I just wish there was some way to make it all a bit better for you.
Posted by The Chickengoddess | May 29, 2009 8:01 AM
Posted on May 29, 2009 08:01
*big hugs* for you, Claudia. This year has been so rough for you, and I hope you've known and felt that your friends have tried to be there for you whenever we could. You are an amazing woman who has shown amazing strength.
Posted by evilsciencechick | May 29, 2009 9:24 AM
Posted on May 29, 2009 09:24
Wow...a year goes by so fast. You are such a special person to me and many others and I am thinking about you today! Keep your chin up my friend!
Posted by The Yarn Doctor | May 29, 2009 12:52 PM
Posted on May 29, 2009 12:52
Dear Claudia, I've been following your blog for quite a while and never dared leave a comment before since what you've been through is so personal. Of course things will never be exactly like before. With time you will heal, although there will always be a scar on your heart. But a scar is where the skin is stronger. All the best to you, my internet friend.
Posted by joan | May 29, 2009 1:47 PM
Posted on May 29, 2009 13:47
Lots of hugs, Claudia. I can't imagine how difficult this year has been for you, but hope that all the happy memories you have will, in some small measure, make it just a bit easier.
Posted by Jane | May 29, 2009 2:38 PM
Posted on May 29, 2009 14:38
Wow, Claudia...I took a break from reading a lot of blogs last year, and only recently caught back up. I was so sad to see all that had happened, but I'm glad to see that you seem to be getting through things okay. Joan is absolutely right, that the scar will always be there, but it fades as time passes, and yet it's still stronger than the surrounding skin. You are in my thoughts in the upcoming weeks, for sure.
Posted by Emy | May 29, 2009 10:36 PM
Posted on May 29, 2009 22:36
It's been a tough year for you and I'm so glad to see how well you've handled every step of the way. Luckily, the memories will never go away, because to me, the memories are the way we keep their spirit alive with us. Treasure them all.
Hugs and furry smooches :)
Posted by Doug | May 31, 2009 8:44 AM
Posted on May 31, 2009 08:44
Wow! I started reading your blog a year ago. I am happy that you have good friends and a busy life. And those 2 adorable babies! It is probably good that they are far away--I get the feeling that you would spoil them rotten. The picture of them together is adorable.
You got to know Barbara Walker? I am sooooo jealous. Keep your chin up and treasure the memories. It sounds like hubby was a treasure!
Posted by Kathy Sue | May 31, 2009 5:45 PM
Posted on May 31, 2009 17:45
I've been thinking about you because I remember hearing the news about Irwin, just a year ago.
Love and hugs.
Posted by Phyllis | June 2, 2009 8:17 PM
Posted on June 2, 2009 20:17
Claudia, I found your blog a few months ago and that's how I found out about Irwin. I worked with Irwin in NYC back in the late 70's - he was a very nice guy. So sorry for your loss. Keep strong and treasure your memories.
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Posted on June 6, 2009 08:24
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Posted on June 24, 2010 17:04