Here are finally some knitting news on this blog. Remember, I fell in love with Sylvi a while back?
I ordered the yarn and it came last Thursday. Well, the note in the mail arrived that I had to pick up the box at the post office because I had to sign for it. So, here is what I picked up on Saturday.
Yes, I ordered a box full of Kahlua – I wish… Nope, it was filled to the brim with lovely, lovely wool. So, even better than a big box of Kahlua. ;-)
Red lovely wool! I balled two skeins right away and started swatching.
The gauge matches exactly to what the pattern asks for. And since I needed a little boost last weekend, I sat down on Saturday around 1pm and in the evening I had the first sleeve finished.
Very easy knitting, really! I first thought that the seed stitch would take a while since you have to switch between knitting and purling for every stitch. But honestly, I didn't think it took that much more time at all.
I will take the coat project as my main project to Germany for my Christmas vacation. I think it is very fitting since it is red and has poinsettias in the pattern on the back. I am even going to get over myself and knit the few bobbles that the pattern calls for. Hopefully I will get much of the coat done. I have two 10-hour planes rides and 10 days with my folks. And then I’ll maybe take a couple of little projects, like a scarf and a pair of socks. Even tho' my knitting is mojo is asleep these days, I can't seem to bond with the idea of just knitting on one project. SUCH A SCARY THOUGHT... At least for me. ;-)
So, I am almost finished with the silk/merino opera gloves for my friend Susan in NJ.
I had some trouble with the gloves because my scattered brain knitted the thumbs differently. Therefore I had to rip back the second glove (after I thought I was finished) and re-knit the thumb on the second glove. At the same time, I realized that I made the upper portion a little too long on the first glove and so I ripped back on the first glove as well. Which was good, because then I didn’t have to knit back as much on the second glove. Do I make sense at all? I don’t think so… But they are beautiful and my goal is to send them off to NJ on Monday. I know a little late for Christmas but it is also more a thank-you-gift to Susan than a Christmas gift. She is a wonderful friend and hosted Irwin’s gathering at her house in September.
And I started a pair of manly gloves for Hagen, one of the Germans who visited me for Thanksgiving. The pattern is loosely based on the gloves from Son of Stitch 'N Bitch. I am not doing the palm pattern and I am not crazy enough to knit each finger separately. The first glove went pretty fast. I did most of it at the last Friday night knit-in and of course got cursed for the fast knitting. At least I am not designing fancy fair isle mittens and producing hand-spun like Doug. He still gets more nasty comments than I. And we still love our knitting friends, because we know it is all teasing out of love. ;-)
I know I still owe a post about the German Thanksgiving visit. But I so don't have the energy. I need to upload a gazillion pictures... One of these days...
We had the Annual Knitting Holiday Party at Jacquie's house last Sunday. She is just the best host. I think we were almost 30 people. We had a great buffet – with interesting appetizers.
Penguins – with olives and cream cheese
Fruit – cut out with Christmas cookie cutters
VERY CREATIVE, LADIES!
Here are some pictures I took during the "White Elephant" auction (more here). People were ready to use their pointy sticks to pry open the hands of fellow knitters to steal their gift.
I am trying hard not to write too much about my current mood. It is awful and I don't want my knitting blog to be all about this. But then again, it is part of my life, just like knitting - and actually such a bigger part these days. Truth to be told, I am totally depressed and I have a hard time keeping up with all the cheeriness around me. I am just trying to make it through this week and next week until Tuesday rolls around and I am going to sit on a plane to Germany. I am not sure if it such a good idea to go there but it is better than staying in my house full of Christmas memories with Irwin. Tuesday is a sad day because is the day when they found him 6 months ago and then Germany has left this bad taste in my mouth because I was there when he died and not here with him. We’ll see – I will try to keep my chin up as best as I can. At least I am staying with my parents and I can just hang out on their sofa and knit, if I don’t feel like doing much else.
But seriously, all I do these last days is get out of bed, go to work, go home and go back to bed. I hate it, but I have no energy. At all! And I feel so trapped. My therapist keeps telling me that this is all normal and that my body and brain are just reacting in their own way to the terrible loss.
So, for my trip to visit my family, I hope that there will be tons of snow in Garmisch (which always cheers me up – I guess it is the white clean look, as long as it stays white) and that I can go for long walks. Hopefully the fresh crispy winter air will clear my head and get me to a better place. I have never felt like this in my entire live. Granted, I have been through terrible times before (twice divorced, hello…) but this is just too much. I totally feel that I have no will power to overcome losing Irwin.
OK – but that’s enough now… Thanks for reading - as always. I do feel a little better writing about it. But then I feel like I shouldn't trouble the rest of the world out there.
AND - my apologies for not sending Christmas cards and or gifts! I just can’t this year. I have high hopes that next year will get better and I can plan a little ahead.
So, to end this post with a little smile, I have to share a German pizza commercial with you... One of my German peeps emailed me the YouTube link. I think it is pretty funny.
Have a great rest of this week. I'll be checking in before I leave for Germany. I promise!!!
Comments (57)
Big hugs and love to you Claudia. I know how hard a crushing depression can be and the only advice I can give you is to be good to yourself. Try not to feel bad about taking this time to be for you only. We all love you and wish you the best and we are here when you need us. I hope your trip is lovely and restorative.
Posted by tulip | December 18, 2008 11:45 AM
Posted on December 18, 2008 11:45
Oh honey, I'm sending you big virtual hugs. The first year after a big loss is hell. You're going through everything alone for the first time. You remember everything the way it used to be, and isn't anymore. :(
This is my first Christmas without my dad. It will be weird and sad and awkward, and I'll be reminded again and again of past losses and losses yet to come. But next year will be a little easier. It's just living till it gets easier that's a challenge sometimes.
Wishing you peace and heart's ease...
Posted by Janice in GA | December 18, 2008 12:22 PM
Posted on December 18, 2008 12:22
Lots of love and hugs to you. I hope you find peace when you're with your parents. I've always thought knitting on the sofa a wonderful way to ease the heart and mind.
You have lots of people who don't mind listening, please remember that.
Posted by Sandy | December 18, 2008 2:57 PM
Posted on December 18, 2008 14:57
Sending you big hugs from the mountains. I know this must be a very difficult time and I don't think you should feel guilty at all for the way you are feeling. Irwin has been a huge loss for you and I don't think there is any just "getting over that". You just gotta roll with the tides I suppose. BUT, seeing Sandy with that funny bikini kit should make you smile!!!
Posted by Brittany Newberry | December 18, 2008 3:17 PM
Posted on December 18, 2008 15:17
Claudia, I hope you have a good time in Germany and many sunny days in Garmisch for great walks though the snow. I am sure it will help you to get back some of that energy.
Viele liebe Gruesse,
Susanne
Posted by Susanne | December 18, 2008 4:31 PM
Posted on December 18, 2008 16:31
BIG hugs! Please know that you're thought of and kept close, and if you need a pick-me-up, just look at that picture of Sandy! OMG - her expression is PRICELESS! What a great gift!
Posted by elizabeth | December 18, 2008 4:34 PM
Posted on December 18, 2008 16:34
Just keep doing whatever you need to do, or not do, to get through the day. And what doesn't get done, well, doesn't. Lots of hugs from me to you, and I hope you have a relaxing Christmas with your family. Make a snowball and pelt someone for me!!
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Posted on December 18, 2008 17:12
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Posted on December 18, 2008 18:56
My thoughts and wishes for you are here and with you. We pass each other briefly at SAFF every year and I never want to bother you. My biggest regret is not giving you a big hug and telling you that I'm with you in spirit.
May peace find you in this coming year.
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Posted on December 18, 2008 22:35
I miss you so much!
As it turned out, this emergency turned into a very serious situation which is getting better, thank GOD.
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Posted by Phyllis | December 18, 2008 10:38 PM
Posted on December 18, 2008 22:38
I'm so glad you posted...was wondering about you. Something struck me on this post, you say that you want to overcome this. Well, I'm here to say you don't have to try to overcome anything!! just learn to live with it, then learn to be happy with it. You obviously had a wonderful love, just cherish it. All the best, and hope you have peaceful holidays!
Posted by Monica | December 19, 2008 8:33 AM
Posted on December 19, 2008 08:33
You don't know me but I have been reading your blog for a while now (through a friend in Denver). I have never lost a spouse and when I read of your pain, I cry. I can't imagine how you are making it through your days. I am sure that is why you are exhausted, it must take a HUGE amount of energy to just get up, get ready for work, go to work and make it through the day. I just wanted to tell you that you should not feel bad about not sending out cards or presents. Everyone will understand. I am glad that you get to go home and be with your family in Germany and hopefully mother nature will cooperate and give you some great winter weather to help clear your head. Keep pushing on and take it day by day. I am praying for you and strength to get through this time of sadness when everyone seems to be celebrating the season around you! Hugs. ~Nachaele Olson (Wisconsin).
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Posted on December 19, 2008 09:57
Don't worry about the not sending cards and gifts out- I skipped that route this year too, I decided that just 'going through the motions' wasn't good enough for the people in my life and I'd do what I felt to be genuine, which was sending things out late or not at all. You will be revitalized after some time with your family, I just know it. And when all this Falala crap is over and done with, you're coming over to my pad for dinner, right?!
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