Find a rainbow...
Or two...
When I drove home last night (around 7pm through Lawrenceville on I-85), I stood in traffic for a while and this beautifully bright rainbow was in front of me. I could actually see the whole rainbow, both ends and all. And at some point there was a second one. It was so beautiful.
I just sat in my car in awe... And the world was all better. I am very depressed this week. A lot of stuff is coming together. I feel like I don't have any downtime and I brought a big nasty cold back from Germany. So, I am a cranky woman... No fun...
Irwin's gathering in Atlanta is coming up this Sunday and I have very mixed feelings. It'll be good to see all my/our lovely friends but it also brings me closer to another good-bye. I can't really describe it. I know he is gone but I can't let go, at all. Does that make sense?
I framed a lot of pictures last night and now I have a bunch of wonderful memories to look at in my bedroom. Some people might find that a little obsessive, but I like to look at him, more than ever. That's always what you do with things you can't have - any more. I am not bitter, don't get me wrong. I just think reality sets in more and more and I am facing the fact - slowly but steadily - that he is really really gone. He didn't just take off on a trip... Which I, in my stupid little pea brain, was hoping for... I don't have any regrets because we had a pretty freakin' good relationship, I just wish there would have been more time...
Anyways, I am going to stop blabbering now and let Nite Time cough syrup with 10% alcohol kick in...
Comments (4)
Claudia, you have been thru so much in the last several months I don't know how you've managed as well as you have. This is such a difficult process to go through and I'm sure you will think that you are "ok" one minute, and really "NOT OK" in the next.
For those not ok moments, take a deep breath, sit down and give H & N a big hug. There's nothing like the company of our furry family members to help us feel better.
I'm so sorry you brought a cold home with you. You should have just stuck with yarn.
See you on Sunday.
Posted by Phyllis | October 9, 2008 11:48 PM
Posted on October 9, 2008 23:48
We saw that same rainbow! We got some great pictures of it too. It was so beautiful! And yes, we saw the whole thing and the second rainbow also. Such a nice sight.
I know you will be glad to have all of these gatherings behind you. You are so generous to help others move through their own grief. We'll be sending you good thoughts..........
Posted by Knit Witch | October 10, 2008 9:50 AM
Posted on October 10, 2008 09:50
Phyl's right you know, you're doing a beautiful job of hanging in there, and while I'm sure that although sometimes you're just going through the motions, it will get easier, it simply has to.
I hope for you that, sooner rather than later, all your memories are joyful and that your sorrow eases.
I like to think that each day we live beyond a tragedy it gets easier and our memories become more warm and less painful. I hope that the same is true for you.
Sunday will be a load of fun. (Bittersweet fun, but fun, okay?)
Posted by Katey | October 10, 2008 10:45 AM
Posted on October 10, 2008 10:45
I love the rainbows and please know that it will pass and we do what we do to get through! and we do get through, sometimes slower than we would like....dammit!
So just hang on and know that there are people who care.
Posted by Debbie | October 10, 2008 3:01 PM
Posted on October 10, 2008 15:01