I.HATE.THIS.
This is has been a shitty week and thankfully it is over. I have been very hormonal - it is full blown PMS… Sorry you male readers, I know this is TMI, just cover your ears and go "lalalalala"… Irwin always knew when it was that time of the month. I would tell him sometimes that really upset me, more than usual - I typically have broad shoulders and can take a lot of crap - and he would just look at me and say "Well, of course this bothers you more than usual, don't you know what time of the month it is?" In so many ways he was so much more than a husband, truly my best friend, almost like a girlfriend. We could talk about everything. One of the things that totally cracked me up, was when he went online to search for best deals for OBs - what guy does that? And not only he went online - he also looked at prices at stores. Meaning he had to touch the boxes… I still have a very significant stash…
Since a lot of people are reading my blog these days that have not read it in the past (like colleagues and family members), it is not a safe place anymore to say what I REALLY want to say. I truly do not want to offend these people - I know they do some things because they think it is caring about me but the outcome might not be what I want right now.
I'll just give you a glimpse at the top of the iceberg.
I snapped at several people this week. Including my mom this morning… And she of all people does not deserve to be snapped at. I know she means well but she calls me every day and there are not really any changes in my life every day. I am hanging in there and I am doing the best I can. I am so very sorry I was mean to her but I am just human... And sometimes I just blurt out something stupid. But I told her I was sorry and she understood.
I have three gatherings for Irwin in the works, in New York, Atlanta and Garmisch. I like to organize events, I actually did this for a living for 10 years. But organizing gatherings to commemorate your husband's life is a very different animal. I designed the invitation this week and picked an organization to give donations to in lieu of flowers. I emailed back and forth with Irwin's sister about whom to invite and all this is heartbreaking to me. I am going to invite people I have never met before and some of them didn't even know that I existed until June this year. How bizarre is that? I feel like I should bring name tags for everyone… Venues and caterers have been selected and I am actually done with all the major things. Now I just need to put the addresses on the envelopes and mail out the invitations. Bleh...
Not helping my raging hormones is picking movies that are very emotional… Somehow I had a talent to either pick a romantic comedy or a drama where people lose their spouse or have a long journey to get together over the last couple of days.
I watched Birth with Nicole Kidman. She plays a woman who becomes convinced that a ten year old boy is the reincarnation of her dead husband. Go figure that that was a touchy movie for me. Then I watched The Secret with David Duchovny (the guy from the X-Files). His wife and the mother to his only daughter passes away after a freak accident and her spirit returns in her daughter's body. Good story but again - all about losing a spouse. I even cried watching Something About Mary and Fools Rush In.
That has to stop… Either picking those kind of movies or stop with the crying. But wait - I watched one movie that also made me laugh hard. Pane e Tulipani - as you can guess, it is an Italian movie. The talking was very fast - I love the Italian language - and so were the subtitles. All I could do was knit on my garter stitch scarf. Here is a synopsis of the plot for you:
Life is often just "for sake of" and we need to know about it and want to benefit when we are presented with the occasion to. A bit for "sake of", a bit for choice, Rosalba, a housewife of Pescara, during a bus trip after she found herself alone and... forgotten in a highway café, decides not to wait for her husband and sons to come back to pick her up but instead decides to find her own way home. She is a little offended that she has been forgotten by her family and has been told by her husband to stay put so, rebelling a little she finds herself hitch-hiking direct for Venice. Her adventure in Venice begins meeting strange but fascinating people. Fermo; an anarchistic florist, Grazia; a masseuse and Fernando; a waiter from Iceland who speaks a his own language of Italian.
Go rent this movie, I highly recommend it!
I have so much more to blog about but I am running out of time this morning. I am going to meet with my girls for brunch and then we'll be knitting at Knitch. Go figure - it's Sunday. ;-)
But before I leave you for the day, I wanted to show off the unraveling mysteries of Jane's magic yarn ball. It is so cool!!
Jane, thank you again! This is such a creative and awesome gift. I can't stop knitting the scarf - all these lovely surprises!!! More to follow later!
OH - one last thing!
HAPPY BIRTDHAY ROBERT DE NIRO!
He'll be 65 today and he is one of my all-time favorite actors.
Comments (96)
Hey.
A movie suggestion that is not romantic and is really funny?
I'm really embarrassed to admit it.
Really really embarrassed.
But Stepbrothers was really funny.
Hugs to you, and hang in there, the people who love you most will forgive anything. It's always the people closest to us who help us most by bearing our frustrations with us (whether willingly or not).
Posted by Katey | August 17, 2008 11:47 AM
Posted on August 17, 2008 11:47
Keep away from the Love Letters movie. I bawled, and yes- she lost her husband.
I loved Death at a Funeral though- the dad dies- but OH SO FUNNY STUFF!
That's the trouble with openining your blog to people who actually know you, the venting becomes sensored.
Have a great day knitting!
Posted by Brighton | August 17, 2008 11:53 AM
Posted on August 17, 2008 11:53
Hey, know how to make a hormone?
Don't pay her! Ba dum dum!
I hope you had a wonderful day at Knitch. See you soon!
Posted by Sandy | August 17, 2008 10:40 PM
Posted on August 17, 2008 22:40
I'm so glad you are enjoying the mystery yarn ball. The scarf is really beautiful, and I hope you'll enjoy the next few surprises in there!
Posted by Jane | August 18, 2008 12:02 AM
Posted on August 18, 2008 00:02
Everyone is allowed to have bad days or series of days. It does you no good to be nice all the time.
My solution has been to write a nasty email or document venting all my anger, irritation or whatever. Leave it for a day or two then read it again. My guess is that much of what is written seems silly and easy to discard.
Movies: the 4 Musketeers, the Man in the Iron Mask (any version).
Posted by GailR | August 18, 2008 9:21 PM
Posted on August 18, 2008 21:21
Oh, please, is there a pattern for that pretty scarf? the zigzaggy one? or is it just something so simple I ought to be able to fiigure it out?
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