KNITTING WITHOUT DOG HAIR IS NOT AN OPTION

IT SUCKS BEYOND BELIEVE!!!

People in Atlanta lose their ability to drive when it starts to rain. Sorry folks, but it has not been pretty what I got to see and drive through since Sunday evening. Hurricane Fay from Florida finally made to Georgia and I feel like I got all the rain that would have been good to get throughout the summer in nice doses in the last 48 hours.

Normally it takes me 45 minutes to work. Yesterday morning it was 75 minutes and going home it was two hours. This morning again 75 minutes and going home about 60 minutes, but at a time where it would usually only take me maybe 35 minutes.

Anyways - the weather sucked going to work this morning and so did my whole day. Besides the bad ride into work this morning, I also cleaned out the fridge at work. I was just in the mood for that. Lots of anger that I had to get rid off and some time while waiting for the first coffee pot to be done. What is it with people that they turn into pigs when they are not at home? I threw away black bananas (they turn black when you put them in the fridge with the peel on, duh…), moldy pears, expired yoghurt from April 2007, a half eaten bagel with cream cheese on it, and lots of other goodies. Geez…I am just waiting for someone to ask what happened to their food and I will ask in return "Are looking for a moldy pear or the yoghurt that expired a year and a half ago…?"

I worked as a chamber maid in a hotel once back in the 80s in my home town to make some money during summer break. OMG - you don't want to know how some people leave their rooms behind. And I am not talking about towels on the floor.

Here is a picture I took from the office window this morning.

I actually like to be out in the weather - don't get me wrong - and I am glad we are getting all that rain. Georgia needs it desperately, but I do not need all the other people driving.

Then I had to discover that one of our summer interns broke an adapter that is needed to plug a German keyboard into the PC. He fiddled around with the keyboard yesterday afternoon because he is too ignorant (and probably stupid) to use an English keyboard. It was attached to someone else's PC first and when the other person came back this morning the keyboard just sat there and was not functional anymore. Well, that's when I found that the guy broke the adapter. I was furious. It did not help that the guy didn't show up until 9:45 am because of the "bad weather". I was at the office on time and I live 40 miles away and not just in Buckhead. And then the guy did the very, very, very wrong thing. He started arguing with me:

A) Supposedly he said something to me yesterday.
B) Our equipment is old and crappy.
C) Things break.

I only agree with C) - but you don't put them back, pretend nothing happened and don't tell the office manager who has to deal with the chaos the next day and who also has to go buy a new adapter. I hate macho men - don't argue with me when you are wrong and you know it. He could have just told me, said he was sorry and that would been the end of it. AGRRRR…

Then my day ended with a visit at the dentist and a new crown. Now I am all numb and drooling. Actually I am avoiding that part by drinking with a straw. I wonder if I should have a beer with a straw… Might improve my mood drastically. Hmmm...

Well, honestly, I think the grieving process finally started a couple of weeks ago. It was all very unreal until I got Irwin's death certificate and then the documents from the probate court. I can't describe what I feel but it is an emotional rollercoaster. I am fine one minute and the next minute I cry my heart out. I am content and then I am angry as hell. It is like a huge wave that washes over me.

It kind of reminds me of the waves in the ocean when I went camping with my parents in former Yugoslavia when I was a little girl. My dad would always warn me to be careful when playing at the beach which was actually not sandy but rough cliffs and stones. Sometimes those waves were taller than my dad and he is over 6 feet tall. I remember one time I did not see one of those waves and it caught me. I was totally surprised and was pulled under water , choked on a ton of salt water and couldn't get back on my feet. Thankfully my dad caught me and lifted me up. I'd say I was probably 7 or 8 years old. It was pretty scary at the time and he was pretty mad…

Grief is weird. It sometimes makes me feel totally ill. I would eat food and instantly get nauseous. Thankfully that does not happen too often. And weird things trigger this. I can look at Irwin's pictures forever and I love doing that because it brings back a lot of lovely memories. But then I pull out a baking pan and I lose it. I am sometimes very energetic and then I just crawl into bed and want to sleep. One of my friends once told me that her son said that sleep is the closest thing to death. No worries, I am not suicidal. I love life too much. But when you sleep there is just silence and nothing else. I understand that part. Well, there are dogs that make incredible noises… Sometimes I wonder how those sounds come out of my dogs.

I am glad I am going to therapy now. There is a lot of stuff that needs professional attention. Enough with the mushy stuff...

I also have something absolutely fabulous to tell you. I got a card in the mail yesterday.

The picture depicts Kali, a popular Goddess in the modern Hindu world.

You will never guess who the card is from…Well, I'll give you a few hints. She was in Atlanta last June, she is a very famous knitter and she drives the same car as I do.

Here is some of what she wrote in her card:

Dear Claudia,

Barbara
(as in Barbara Walker)

Did your mouth just drop to the floor? Mine did when I read the card. Plus she gave me her email address and told me not to spread it around. You can bet that I'll take that piece of information to the grave.

I feel very special. Thanks Barbara - that was a lovely boost for my bruised heart.

Now I need to email her and let her know about Irwin's passing. Gosh, I'd love to visit her anyways. Maybe I can give her some of Irwin's 8,000+ puzzles. Well, he gave her one when she was here. The charmer!

OK, I am off now to sending Barbara an email.

PS: Meg - the shelves are from IKEA. They are called Expedit and come in different sizes and three different colors.