KNITTING WITHOUT DOG HAIR IS NOT AN OPTION

Hey there - I am still around. Somehow this week went by with lots of craziness. I am totally exhausted and I need to slow down. But here is my dilemma. I wonder what happens when I slow down... I think, I have just been going, going, going because I fear I'll fall in a big hole. And then I would have too much time on my hands to start thinking… So, I have been out every evening this week. This has to stop for now. I am very tired and exhausted. And all the emotions on the side are very confusing. I feel like - please stop, let me wake up from this nightmare and can I please have my live back like it was in April? Shit - where is the tissue box when you need it?

And while I am out, I miss the dogs and I feel guilty because the puppies need some TLC from their mommy, too. And they are so giving all the time. The best pooches ever - I don't know how people cannot not have a dog... I have no plans for next week and I want to keep quiet and do stuff around the house.

So, I just realized... You haven't heard from me since I went to IKEA last Saturday. Shame on the lazy blogger. I talked to my SIL in Vermont yesterday. She rides the bus to work and she told me that some of her fellow bus passengers read my blog - YAY FOR THAT - and they have been asking about me because I haven't blogged in a while. I am sending a big WAVE up north! I'll be visiting my SIL and BIL in September. Maybe I'll get to meet some of you. :-)

But back to the trip to IKEA. I went with my friend Mary. Mary is the best shopper ever. It turns out she is an interior designer at heart and I am the lucky chick that got a beautiful new bedroom thanks to Mary's ideas. I was actually prepared for IKEA and I had the bedroom measurements with a drawing and a list of things that I want to buy.

We went to look around first and then we had to get some lunch to fortify ourselves for the purchasing part of the trip.

We just had to eat the Swedish meatballs at the IKEA cafeteria. I guess it shows that I am pretty exhausted on that picture… Geez, I need some downtime.

I usually don't eat mammals. But I make an exception for those meatballs. They come with some heavenly crème sauce, mashed potatoes and Lingonsylt which is a lingonberry preserve. You should try it… I am serious. I bought a bag of those meatballs for my freezer, plus the sauce and two jars of the preserve. And I discovered a bread mix there. It is fabulous. You just add water. It is full of grains and tastes like bread from Germany. You let the water with the mix sit for 45 min and bake it for 60 min. Very wonderful.

Yup, those two shopping carts are full of my new stuff…

So, after IKEA, Mary and I went to H&M which is my all-time favorite yarn store from Europe. And then we went to dinner. By the time I got home, it was around 9pm. And I was very determined to assemble my new furniture. Mary was very concerned about me getting the heavy boxes into the house. But no worries there. The smart man Irwin was - we have a hand truck for these occasions. See?

Within a few minutes everything was aside. What can I tell you - it took half a bottle of white wine and until 3am on Sunday morning and I was done and fell into bed. And this the outcome of screwing around for 6 hours… ;-)

New bedside tables, lamps and rugs

New shelves for knitting, spinning, etc.

New coffee tables

Hermione approves of the new rugs while Mr. Noah takes a nap though all the commotion…

Sunday I had dinner guests - sorry no pix. The summer interns from my office, my coworker Jenny and my very dear friend Amanda were over for pasta, salad and dessert. I love having people over and cook up a storm. And three young men can eat. Very rewarding for the cook, ;-)

The rest of the week I was super-busy. On Monday I put the finishing touches on the bedroom and I sorted through my clothes. I packed 4 large moving boxes (24x18x18 - they were really large and heavy) for a women's shelter the Atlanta Knitting Guild works with.

I separated the shelves and my spinning wheel will get a permanent spot in front of the chair.

New curtains - yes, I did this all myself. I know how to use manly tools like a screwdriver etc. I also found the perfect spot for Brett's wonderful lace shawl.

Mom - are you ever gonna stop rearranging all this new stuff???

This was a lot of fun. Now that my closets are getting emptier and the new shelves are up, I can move all the fiber into the bedroom and the guest room will be a real guest room and not a room that went through a fiber war with yarn and roving laying around all over the place.

So, what else did I do this week? On Tuesday I met two friends for dinner to plan a trip to Amelia Island in Florida in a couple of weeks.

Wednesday morning I went to the probate to drop off some more paperwork for the judge to finalize the letter of testamentary which will make me the executor of Irwin's estate. All this take quite a bit of time and is getting on my nerves… In the evening Jenny and I were invited to dinner to one of our coworkers who just had a baby boy at the end of June. Jenny and I held the little baby most of the evening. We almost fought - no, not really. But tiny babies are just so precious… And I knitted some more on the baby blanket for the little man. This time we also took pictures. But they are on Jenny's camera and I have to get them from her.

Last night I went to the Atlanta Knitting Guild meeting. I gave all the boxes with the clothes and a microwave that was just sitting in the basement to Diana who is the contact for the women's shelter.

We got some great news at the meeting. Save the date - APRIL 23-26, 2009! There will be a STITCHES SOUTH in Atlanta! I am not kidding. It is not on their website yet, but none of the 2009 events are.

I always wanted to go STITCHES but never made it to the Midwest or California. So, now I can stay home and go to the Cobb Galleria Convention Center 5 days in a row.

I guess you figured out by now that I am really excited about this.

And then I have more exciting news. My attorney called me yesterday to tell me that the judge signed the documents for me and I can pick them up this morning. I'll be off to the probate court in a little bit. Wish me luck!

I am planning to be a Knitch tonight and on Sunday afternoon. See you there maybe?

Have a great weekend!

PS: Can I just say that it too me twice as long to post this entry because Ms. Hermione wanted me to throw the ball for her the whole I was sitting in my home office... at 6:00 in the morning... she had to be an energy bunny in a previous life...

So, there has been a string of people dying... Could you please stop that??? Yesterday I found out that Isaac Hayes died. Irwin and I loved him. I like his music a lot and we both thought Isaac was so cool as Chef in South Park.

Irwin used to do an imitation for me all the time of this song that Chef is singing to the South Park kids. Enjoy:

This brings a lot of fond memories back. Irwin had this great sense of humor and his Chef imitation was really good, especially when you think about a skinny white guy with red long hair imitating a tall bald African American. ;-) And we were really crushed when Isaac Hayes left the TV show…

This morning I heard a nice blurb about Isaac Hayes on NPR.

Isaac Hayes, the legendary soul singer and composer, died Sunday in Memphis, Tenn. He was 65. His signature sound laid the groundwork for the lush orchestrations of disco and the hip vocals of rap. He was known more recently as the voice of "Chef" on South Park.

Click here for the whole story.

Farewell Isaac, wherever you l-o-o-o-o-ve the ladies now.

PS: Isaac had recently finished work on a movie called "Soul Men" in which he played himself, starring Samuel Jackson and Bernie Mac, who died on Saturday. Another great guy...

Phyllis at Knit and Purr has a contest. It is runs until August 15 - you can win yarn! Go over there and participate! Oh, and it's her birthday contest - you should go over there for sure on Saturday (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) to say HAPPY B-DAY!!!

She always has fabulous prizes!

I am going to see her and Ms. Pixie tonight to watch Dark Knight. I know - you counted right - it is the third time, but soooooooooo good...

I.HATE.THIS.

This is has been a shitty week and thankfully it is over. I have been very hormonal - it is full blown PMS… Sorry you male readers, I know this is TMI, just cover your ears and go "lalalalala"… Irwin always knew when it was that time of the month. I would tell him sometimes that really upset me, more than usual - I typically have broad shoulders and can take a lot of crap - and he would just look at me and say "Well, of course this bothers you more than usual, don't you know what time of the month it is?" In so many ways he was so much more than a husband, truly my best friend, almost like a girlfriend. We could talk about everything. One of the things that totally cracked me up, was when he went online to search for best deals for OBs - what guy does that? And not only he went online - he also looked at prices at stores. Meaning he had to touch the boxes… I still have a very significant stash…

Since a lot of people are reading my blog these days that have not read it in the past (like colleagues and family members), it is not a safe place anymore to say what I REALLY want to say. I truly do not want to offend these people - I know they do some things because they think it is caring about me but the outcome might not be what I want right now.

I'll just give you a glimpse at the top of the iceberg.

I snapped at several people this week. Including my mom this morning… And she of all people does not deserve to be snapped at. I know she means well but she calls me every day and there are not really any changes in my life every day. I am hanging in there and I am doing the best I can. I am so very sorry I was mean to her but I am just human... And sometimes I just blurt out something stupid. But I told her I was sorry and she understood.

I have three gatherings for Irwin in the works, in New York, Atlanta and Garmisch. I like to organize events, I actually did this for a living for 10 years. But organizing gatherings to commemorate your husband's life is a very different animal. I designed the invitation this week and picked an organization to give donations to in lieu of flowers. I emailed back and forth with Irwin's sister about whom to invite and all this is heartbreaking to me. I am going to invite people I have never met before and some of them didn't even know that I existed until June this year. How bizarre is that? I feel like I should bring name tags for everyone… Venues and caterers have been selected and I am actually done with all the major things. Now I just need to put the addresses on the envelopes and mail out the invitations. Bleh...

Not helping my raging hormones is picking movies that are very emotional… Somehow I had a talent to either pick a romantic comedy or a drama where people lose their spouse or have a long journey to get together over the last couple of days.

I watched Birth with Nicole Kidman. She plays a woman who becomes convinced that a ten year old boy is the reincarnation of her dead husband. Go figure that that was a touchy movie for me. Then I watched The Secret with David Duchovny (the guy from the X-Files). His wife and the mother to his only daughter passes away after a freak accident and her spirit returns in her daughter's body. Good story but again - all about losing a spouse. I even cried watching Something About Mary and Fools Rush In.

That has to stop… Either picking those kind of movies or stop with the crying. But wait - I watched one movie that also made me laugh hard. Pane e Tulipani - as you can guess, it is an Italian movie. The talking was very fast - I love the Italian language - and so were the subtitles. All I could do was knit on my garter stitch scarf. Here is a synopsis of the plot for you:

Life is often just "for sake of" and we need to know about it and want to benefit when we are presented with the occasion to. A bit for "sake of", a bit for choice, Rosalba, a housewife of Pescara, during a bus trip after she found herself alone and... forgotten in a highway café, decides not to wait for her husband and sons to come back to pick her up but instead decides to find her own way home. She is a little offended that she has been forgotten by her family and has been told by her husband to stay put so, rebelling a little she finds herself hitch-hiking direct for Venice. Her adventure in Venice begins meeting strange but fascinating people. Fermo; an anarchistic florist, Grazia; a masseuse and Fernando; a waiter from Iceland who speaks a his own language of Italian.

Go rent this movie, I highly recommend it!

I have so much more to blog about but I am running out of time this morning. I am going to meet with my girls for brunch and then we'll be knitting at Knitch. Go figure - it's Sunday. ;-)

But before I leave you for the day, I wanted to show off the unraveling mysteries of Jane's magic yarn ball. It is so cool!!

Jane, thank you again! This is such a creative and awesome gift. I can't stop knitting the scarf - all these lovely surprises!!! More to follow later!

OH - one last thing!

HAPPY BIRTDHAY ROBERT DE NIRO!

He'll be 65 today and he is one of my all-time favorite actors.

A sweet friend from Naples, Florida, sent me this today. Just sweet. I am sucker these days for things like this. And I am sucker for these guys.

Can look Noah any more goofy - so cute...

Hermione was actually a good sport for once. She does not like it when you take her picture. She is all about business. Therefore I was seriously shocked when she let me take this picture.

"Hello, I am the furry fiber queen! What can I do for you today?"

But this is nothing in comparison to what I received last Sunday.

Several of my knitting friends knitted this shawl and gave it to me with a booklet full of wonderful notes. I am glad I decided to read the booklet at home and not at Knitch. I cried for a very long time because all the notes are very special and touching and heartfelt.

I truly don't know how I deserve such friends. I have never encountered such caring and thoughtfulness. You are awesome!

Many thanks to Jane, Melissa, Janice, Sandy, Marissa, Regan, Meg, Linda, Nell, Joanne from Colorado (Nell told me she knitted for you as well), Melissa, Lou, Doug, Shirley, Jessica, Phyllis, Jacquie, Jennifer, Allen, Lea, Alma, Lois, Steve, Olivia, Diana, Maegan, Whit, Karen, Jana, and Pat. And to all of you who knitted but didn't sign the booklet.

There are a few signatures I have a hard time reading. I'll bring the shawl and the booklet to Knitch on Thurday. I am sure we'll be able to figure out who is who.

You people have no idea how I feel about this gift. It is truly a knitted hug and I am treating it that way. It has not left my side since I got it. And I will wear it at Irwin's gatherings. I hope I can give back all the love I am feeling right now some time.

If you are a creature like this…

Please consider this a fair warning. If you come into my house, you might not leave alive. Dear Irwin is gone and he used to rescue every spider and other bug etc. I would scream and he would come running with a glass and a piece of cardboard. Then he would catch the spider and take it out of Claudia's harm. Well, now it is only me and the fiber dogs and they are not very helpful either. I can't deal with spiders but smack them dead. SORRY - I know they are very useful and my SIL from Vermont already gave me a lecture about not killing spiders. But they can't be useful inside my house, sorry, I don't see that. And I am not going to attempt to rescue any of them. There are a lot of spiders on this planet. I don't think I will make them extinct…

Oh, and yes, I took the spider picture on my back porch. Pretty cool, huh? Don't ask me how scared I was. I truly thought the spider would jump on me any minute. I know - I am a freak…

Now, on the other hand, if you are this kind of creature…

I will let you be. Last week, I got up in the morning and walked into the bathroom. Out of the corner of my eye (not wearing glasses) I noticed a dark blob in the bathtub. I put my glasses on and almost had a heart attack. A freakin' huge scorpion in the tub. GEEZ…

Well, I was brave enough to run, get my camera and snap a few pictures. Then I went to shower in the other bathroom and left the house hoping the scorpion is gone by the time I get home again. And it was. Let's just hope it walked back out the way it came in and it is not hiding somewhere. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr…

And here are two other creatures that visited me:

According to the National Audubon Society's Field Guide to Inspects and Spiders in North America and the limited view I had of that little fella, I think it is a True Katydid.

And don't ask what happened to this huge moth - you are talking to a knitter!

So, it would best if you crawl or fly that you don't come inside. It is not a save place. You can hang out around my house as much as you want, just don't come near me, OK? Consider yourself warned!

And now, all you knitters, consider yourselves warned. I got the new VERENA Fall issue in the mail yesterday. It is another fabulous issue.

Guys - a dozen (!) gorgeous men patterns. Here is a peak for you:

Yes, I noticed too, the model is cute.

Tons of very cool women's patterns - these are just a hand full:

Argyle seems to have a big comeback in Europe this year. That reminds me - I am designing Argyle socks. There are somewhere around the house. I should get going and write up the pattern and start selling my designs.

Fair Isle

Yarn Mix

And other cool designs

And very cute stuff for kids.

I also have a FO - Dr. Bob's first sock is finally finished. I had to sit down and do the math for separating the big toes from his fellow toes. I have never knitted that kind of toe and math is not my favorite subject... It'll be interesting how well it fits Dr. Bob.

I'll find out in three of weeks. Thankfully enough time to finish the second sock. It is already on the needles, so no worries!

I got home very late today - around 07:30pm - because I had to finish a bunch of stuff at the office. I was exhausted, ate dinner and laid down to rest a little. I completely fell asleep and missed three phone calls. Oh well, I was talked out anyways. Of course, now that it is really bedtime, I am wide awake. But I have a long weekend ahead of me - four days off! YAYAYAYAY!!!

I am very excited about that. So, it doesn't really matter if I fall asleep soon because I can sleep in tomorrow. But I'll have another one of my new sleeping pills in a little bit - a hot mug of milk with Amaretto. Knocks me right out and tastes yummy. :-)

OK - I am trying to catch you up on four days of heavenly blissful vacation. The subtitle was "All about Claudia". Very selfish and very needed. I can offer several categories:

1. What did the woman do?

I went shopping for new slippers for the fast and furious sports car - those things are darn expensive (a lot of yarn went down the drain for that purchase…) and I had to get these wonderful slippers for myself.

New Clarks - they feel like you walk on butter and they are perfect for hand knitted socks. I also bought a geek gadget - a Bluetooth headset for my cell phone. I spend too much time in my car and talking on phone in my hand pressed to the ear is not a very good idea - especially when I drive the sports car. It is a stick shift and has six gears…

I also found this cool mug at Starbucks - how fitting is that saying?

Since I spend so much time at Knitch, I might as well leave a mug at the store.

2. What did the widow do?

I met with my new financial advisor and now I feel better about all the numbers I had no idea about. IRAs, deferred, non-deferred, blablabla… Plus, this is all different in Germany. I am really glad I can pay someone to take care of this for me. Irwin was very smart and had all the time in the world to work with his money. I don't and I don't want to make any mistakes and lose what he left me.

I also worked around the house, cleaned up some of the backyard, changed light bulbs, cleaned drains - bleh… You don't realize how many little things are getting taken care of without you really noticing.

And I finally called Social Security. When your spouse dies, you get the incredible amount of US$ 255.00 right away and later his/her retirement when you retire. That amount was regulated a gazillion years ago and has not changed since. I wonder what it should pay for… But I have to say - if you ever have to call that agency (and hopefully you'll never have to do that), I hope you end up talking to Mr. Smith in Birmingham, Alabama. His name was really Mr. Smith - I am not kidding. He was extremely funny and quite entertaining while he filled out the form for me over the phone to get the money. We talked about Germany, he lived in Munich and Berlin. He gave me some really helpful tips and was a very sweet person with regards to my incredibly horrible loss. At the end I thanked him for being such a delight on the phone and he said that he was there to help people and not make them more miserable. That was very unexpected - what a great attitude.

And I had to call some former employers of Irwin's to send me forms for his pension plans with them. It is unbelievable what an incredibly long list of paperwork you have to deal with. I am also trying to organize the home office while I am at it.

And I started to go to therapy. I reconnected with Irwin's therapist. He loved her and I love her, too. I met her once when he was her patient. She is great and she does also grief counseling - perfect. She was quite shocked about his death. He hadn't seen her in 3 years and then I come back with these news.

3. And now, what did the fiber person do?

Lots of fun stuff. I went to three knitting meetings - all at Knitch, what a surprise.

On Thursday, Brett gave me my birthday gift. By the way - Brett - you need to update your blog - the last entry is from May 22… Anyways, he sewed me a totally cool rock-star Amy Butler bag:

He takes orders, people!!! He is so talented! Leave me a comment here and I'll forward it to Brett or go to his blog to order your own.

On Friday I had visitors at the house, Pixie and her lovely baby girl Sydney. I had the crazy idea that I could organize my stash into the new shelves and update my Ravelry stash list while they were visiting. Guess, how much yarn I listed… 3 balls in 4 hours… It was much more fun chasing little Sydney around and playing with her and my soft toy stash.

Somehow she did not really think it was a good idea to set up the play pen and put her in it.

I WANT YARN!!! NOW!!!

But after the girls left and in the quiet solitude of Saturday morning, I got my library moved and some of the stash moved into the boxes. It is still not listed on Ravelry, but at least it's in the new spot. This is probably half of my stash. Just shut up right now. ;-)

And Esmeralda, my spinning wheel, found her new spot. Looking good, my fiber cave. :-)))

On Saturday I dyed yarn with Ms. Abalama who also spent the night. And we had the boys over for dinner. Nancy made some fabulous gnocchi and I threw a salad together. Very delicious with a couple of bottles of white wine. The fiber dogs were delighted about the petting company. Hermione loves people - especially when they throw the ball for her. ;-)

How about some colorful pictures now?

First Nancy used Kool Aid and hand-painted two hanks of Knitpicks Bare lace yarn.

Very Jerry - Named after Jerry Garcia

Irwin would have loved that. He was a big Jerry Garcia fan. He even had some Jerry Garcia ties. Irwin always used to name my dyes and patterns. I sometimes wonder what he was not involved and interested in with regards to my hobbies. He also bought all the dye equipment (we used this weekend) for me last summer after I took my first dye class and was totally fascinated by coloring my own yarn.

I tried to convince Nancy that this is "Squeeze Cheese meets Blueberries" but she just made a disgusted face about the name choice…

After the hand-painting, we dyed solids with Jacquard acid dyes and used Knitpicks Bare Bulky Wool for felting projects. We had lots of colorful spaghetti for dinner. ;-)

Violet

Aztec Gold

Presented by Famous Steve and the lovelt Ms. Abalama - I felt like we did a TV cooking show. ;-)

And this was the complete Saturday production:

And then Nancy and I dyed some more Sunday morning at sunrise. Well, almost… Nancy and I were up early and we thought we might as well heat up some water and play some more with colors while having out first cup of coffee. We had more colorful spaghetti for breakfast and this time we used Knitpicks Bare superwash sock yarn. The two dyes of the day were:

Pink and Crimson

The colors came out beautifully. I have two hanks of the crimson, one pink and one violet.

The rest went home with Nancy.

I had so many things I wanted to talk about. But I didn't make a list and now I don't remember. Oh well… Plus I am tired. I think I am going to bed soon with a good movie and some knitting. All in all the weekend was very relaxing. I got a lot of stuff accomplished and hung out with a bunch of great friends. Can one ask for more??? NO!!!

Well, I know one thing but that would be scary if it came true…

PS: H&M is not my favorite yarn store - as I said in a previous post. It is my favorite clothing store. I think I inhaled too many fiber fumes…

IT SUCKS BEYOND BELIEVE!!!

People in Atlanta lose their ability to drive when it starts to rain. Sorry folks, but it has not been pretty what I got to see and drive through since Sunday evening. Hurricane Fay from Florida finally made to Georgia and I feel like I got all the rain that would have been good to get throughout the summer in nice doses in the last 48 hours.

Normally it takes me 45 minutes to work. Yesterday morning it was 75 minutes and going home it was two hours. This morning again 75 minutes and going home about 60 minutes, but at a time where it would usually only take me maybe 35 minutes.

Anyways - the weather sucked going to work this morning and so did my whole day. Besides the bad ride into work this morning, I also cleaned out the fridge at work. I was just in the mood for that. Lots of anger that I had to get rid off and some time while waiting for the first coffee pot to be done. What is it with people that they turn into pigs when they are not at home? I threw away black bananas (they turn black when you put them in the fridge with the peel on, duh…), moldy pears, expired yoghurt from April 2007, a half eaten bagel with cream cheese on it, and lots of other goodies. Geez…I am just waiting for someone to ask what happened to their food and I will ask in return "Are looking for a moldy pear or the yoghurt that expired a year and a half ago…?"

I worked as a chamber maid in a hotel once back in the 80s in my home town to make some money during summer break. OMG - you don't want to know how some people leave their rooms behind. And I am not talking about towels on the floor.

Here is a picture I took from the office window this morning.

I actually like to be out in the weather - don't get me wrong - and I am glad we are getting all that rain. Georgia needs it desperately, but I do not need all the other people driving.

Then I had to discover that one of our summer interns broke an adapter that is needed to plug a German keyboard into the PC. He fiddled around with the keyboard yesterday afternoon because he is too ignorant (and probably stupid) to use an English keyboard. It was attached to someone else's PC first and when the other person came back this morning the keyboard just sat there and was not functional anymore. Well, that's when I found that the guy broke the adapter. I was furious. It did not help that the guy didn't show up until 9:45 am because of the "bad weather". I was at the office on time and I live 40 miles away and not just in Buckhead. And then the guy did the very, very, very wrong thing. He started arguing with me:

A) Supposedly he said something to me yesterday.
B) Our equipment is old and crappy.
C) Things break.

I only agree with C) - but you don't put them back, pretend nothing happened and don't tell the office manager who has to deal with the chaos the next day and who also has to go buy a new adapter. I hate macho men - don't argue with me when you are wrong and you know it. He could have just told me, said he was sorry and that would been the end of it. AGRRRR…

Then my day ended with a visit at the dentist and a new crown. Now I am all numb and drooling. Actually I am avoiding that part by drinking with a straw. I wonder if I should have a beer with a straw… Might improve my mood drastically. Hmmm...

Well, honestly, I think the grieving process finally started a couple of weeks ago. It was all very unreal until I got Irwin's death certificate and then the documents from the probate court. I can't describe what I feel but it is an emotional rollercoaster. I am fine one minute and the next minute I cry my heart out. I am content and then I am angry as hell. It is like a huge wave that washes over me.

It kind of reminds me of the waves in the ocean when I went camping with my parents in former Yugoslavia when I was a little girl. My dad would always warn me to be careful when playing at the beach which was actually not sandy but rough cliffs and stones. Sometimes those waves were taller than my dad and he is over 6 feet tall. I remember one time I did not see one of those waves and it caught me. I was totally surprised and was pulled under water , choked on a ton of salt water and couldn't get back on my feet. Thankfully my dad caught me and lifted me up. I'd say I was probably 7 or 8 years old. It was pretty scary at the time and he was pretty mad…

Grief is weird. It sometimes makes me feel totally ill. I would eat food and instantly get nauseous. Thankfully that does not happen too often. And weird things trigger this. I can look at Irwin's pictures forever and I love doing that because it brings back a lot of lovely memories. But then I pull out a baking pan and I lose it. I am sometimes very energetic and then I just crawl into bed and want to sleep. One of my friends once told me that her son said that sleep is the closest thing to death. No worries, I am not suicidal. I love life too much. But when you sleep there is just silence and nothing else. I understand that part. Well, there are dogs that make incredible noises… Sometimes I wonder how those sounds come out of my dogs.

I am glad I am going to therapy now. There is a lot of stuff that needs professional attention. Enough with the mushy stuff...

I also have something absolutely fabulous to tell you. I got a card in the mail yesterday.

The picture depicts Kali, a popular Goddess in the modern Hindu world.

You will never guess who the card is from…Well, I'll give you a few hints. She was in Atlanta last June, she is a very famous knitter and she drives the same car as I do.

Here is some of what she wrote in her card:

Dear Claudia,

Barbara
(as in Barbara Walker)

Did your mouth just drop to the floor? Mine did when I read the card. Plus she gave me her email address and told me not to spread it around. You can bet that I'll take that piece of information to the grave.

I feel very special. Thanks Barbara - that was a lovely boost for my bruised heart.

Now I need to email her and let her know about Irwin's passing. Gosh, I'd love to visit her anyways. Maybe I can give her some of Irwin's 8,000+ puzzles. Well, he gave her one when she was here. The charmer!

OK, I am off now to sending Barbara an email.

PS: Meg - the shelves are from IKEA. They are called Expedit and come in different sizes and three different colors.

GEEZ… It is after 1am and I still awake… My head has been swimming all evening with crazy thoughts about Irwin and I was so anxious that I watched two movies and started to organize my clothes closet. It still needs a bunch of work but I am getting there. At least now I can step into the closet again…

So, I just heated some milk with Amaretto and hopefully this will help me get sleepy in a bit, since I have to get up in 4.5 hours…

I had a very lovely surprise in the mail today - a package from Germany from my parents. Mom told me that it was on the way last week. She finally finished the cardigan she started when I was there in May and sent it off. I told her that I could wait until October but she wouldn’t hear of it and ran to the post office. ;-) Well, I am totally not complaining. Here is what arrived:

Dad sewed 6 more knitting pouches for me. He is such a cool tailor. All different sizes. :-)

The new cardigan – love the colors (Knitpicks Shine - I destashed on Mom...)

And a card (which made me cry – Mom is so sweet), a knitting magazine for men sweaters and some family pictures from my last visit. Here is the cardigan – it fits perfectly as everything that my mom knits for me. She is just an amazing knitter. I wanna be like her when I grow up. :-)

A lovely lace pattern on the front and the 3/4 sleeves. And cool buttons. You rock, Mom!

OK, time to lay down and let the Amaretto kick in. Nite, nite…

YAY - it's Labor Day Weekend! I can't believe that the summer is officially over on Monday. Well, I don't think that rule applies to Georgia. We have a few days of spring and fall (no winter) and the rest is one hot and humid summer.

I have wonderful plans for this weekend. I am going to teach a sock class on Saturday and Sunday. And on Saturday afternoon, I'll meet Mary (remember her from helping me picking out all the stuff at IKEA?) for shopping, a movie and then I'll cook dinner for her at my house and she can look at what she helped me pick out. And on Monday I have a bunch of knitting plans. What better weekend could a knitter have?

Oh, before I forget. After two weeks of wearing my wonderful knitted hug, I realized the red matches exactly the red of my boy toy.

I am having so much fun driving Irwin's sports car. I feel close to him sitting in his baby and letting the turbo kick in. :-) That brings a big smile to my face.

And to top it all - the perfect music for riding around in his car - Isaac Hayes:

With this and a likky greeting from the fiber dogs - have a fabulous Labor Day Weekend.

Do a lot of things you enjoy! Life is short - the biggest lesson Irwin taught me.