I am leaving Germany this morning to go back and take care of Hubby, one last time.
I am not sure what to expect when I get back home, not sure what needs to be done and how. I never thought I would lose Hubby so soon. Thankfully I have a lot of beautiful friends and my wonderful family to lean on.
I am not sure how much I will be able to blog, I might be gone for a while, I might use the blog as a lifeline or an outlet. There are so many things that whirl around in my head.
One main thing - what would have happened if I would have been there. I know this is nothing I should ask myself. I couldn't have changed a heart attack. But still, I ask myself...
Comments (48)
Claudia,
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Much Love,
Tammy
Posted by Tammy | June 24, 2008 12:19 AM
Posted on June 24, 2008 00:19
I know I don't know you personally, but I feel for you. My prayers are with you!
Posted by Jolynn | June 24, 2008 1:01 AM
Posted on June 24, 2008 01:01
So many big hugs I want to give you. Your friends are here for you - you just need to say the word.
Posted by evilsciencechick | June 24, 2008 1:48 AM
Posted on June 24, 2008 01:48
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
beth
Posted by beth | June 24, 2008 7:17 AM
Posted on June 24, 2008 07:17
I know it's natural to ask yourself what if you had been there, but please try to be easy on yourself.
I will pray for you and your family.
Posted by Ellen | June 24, 2008 8:25 AM
Posted on June 24, 2008 08:25
Claudia, You take as much time as you need. We'll all be here when you get back. In the mean time, we are all sending you hugs.
Posted by Jen | June 24, 2008 8:27 AM
Posted on June 24, 2008 08:27
Oh my gosh Claudia - Words cannot express how I am feeling for you right now. I am sitting here with tears running down my face thinking about what you must be going through. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Posted by Knit Witch | June 24, 2008 10:22 AM
Posted on June 24, 2008 10:22
Anything you need... ANYTHING.. just ask, or hint, or murmur to someone standing nearby. We'll hear, and we'll help.
My thoughts and heart-felt best wishes are all with you. I am so, so very sorry. :(
Posted by Janice in GA | June 24, 2008 11:15 AM
Posted on June 24, 2008 11:15
If you need ANYTHING, I'll do what ever I can to help. I am soooo sorry!
Posted by Jenny | June 24, 2008 12:03 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 12:03
i'm sorry for your loss. my heart aches for you.
Posted by lisa | June 24, 2008 12:09 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 12:09
I am so sorry. What a shock! The NEGA group is here for you!
Hugs!!
Posted by :) Nicole | June 24, 2008 12:36 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 12:36
I don't know that anything I could say would make this any easier, but if there was something, I would say it.
Hug a dog (or two), and know that you're in my prayers.
Posted by Laura | June 24, 2008 1:17 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 13:17
Oh Claudia I am so so so sorry.I'm in tears and I cannot imagine how you and your kids feel right now. Please let us know if you need anything! (chew bones, mailman cookies, yarn, fried chicken,extra tight hugs....anything.)
All my love,
Ashley
Posted by Ashley | June 24, 2008 1:21 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 13:21
Claudia,
I'm so sorry! Love and prayers for you. What do you need me to do? No task too big or small. Just call.
Shari
Posted by Shari | June 24, 2008 2:35 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 14:35
I'm so sorry, I can't begin to imagine what you are going through right now- you are in my constant thoughts and prayers. I wish there was something I could do for you.
-Amanda
Posted by Amanda | June 24, 2008 2:51 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 14:51
I had to read your blog twice, before it clicked. Being married to a soldier that is depolying, I should be ready for something like this, but I guess one can never realle BE ready. I feel for you and keep thinking about you.
Posted by Angelika | June 24, 2008 3:07 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 15:07
Claudia...
I only you met you once and you were warm and inviting and made me feel a part of the Knitch family for a few hours.
I wish I could give you the good feelings that you gave me.
Know that you and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.
Joanne
Denver
Posted by Joanne | June 24, 2008 3:10 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 15:10
Oh Claudia.
Posted by Meg | June 24, 2008 3:20 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 15:20
Claudia, I'm so sorry. I'm here and I'm available to you any time of the day or night, for anything under the sun that I can do for you. My car is pointed in your direction. We love you and we're hurting for you, friend.
Posted by jenifleur | June 24, 2008 3:45 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 15:45
Claudia, I'm so very sorry for your loss - and I'm with the rest of the Atlanta Knitters, if you need anything, anything at all please let me know if I can help... even if it's just to hold your hand or give you a shoulder to lean upon.
Posted by Olivia | June 24, 2008 4:24 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 16:24
Claudia I'm so sorry. There are no words.
Posted by laurie | June 24, 2008 4:28 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 16:28
I'm so very sorry.
Posted by Carrie | June 24, 2008 5:10 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 17:10
Claudia, I am so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
Posted by Elizabeth | June 24, 2008 5:11 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 17:11
Oh Claudia, I am so, so sorry for your loss. *hugs*
Posted by Restless Knitter | June 24, 2008 5:19 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 17:19
Claudia,
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my heart and my prayers.
Posted by Wen | June 24, 2008 5:27 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 17:27
Oh, Claudia.. I am so sorry that this has happened.. I'm thinking of you.
Posted by Sara | June 24, 2008 5:32 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 17:32
My heart goes out to you. I am so, so very sorry for your loss.
Posted by turtlegirl76 | June 24, 2008 6:33 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 18:33
Love to you. So sorry for your loss.
Posted by Christie | June 24, 2008 6:35 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 18:35
I am so sorry for your loss, for the world's loss of a wonderful person. When my mother died, so suddenly, in our home and taking care of our dogs while we traveled we asked ourselves the same thing: could we have stopped it? Could we have helped, could we have eased the process somehow? The questioning is fruitless, the answers unknowable, but I believe it's part of the "grieving process." If I can figure this out, maybe there is some way to change what happened. We can't, but we won't stop trying to understand, and maybe it's just part of missing them so much.
My heart goes out to you, experiencing this unimaginable loss.
Posted by Wendy | June 24, 2008 6:57 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 18:57
Claudia,
I am so sorry.
Debbie
Posted by Debbie | June 24, 2008 7:24 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 19:24
Claudia, There is no way to know what you are feeling right now, and what you must be going through. My heart aches for you. Please know that we love you, and will be there in any way that you need us to be. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by famoussteve | June 24, 2008 7:40 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 19:40
oh gods, I'm so sorry.
:(
I wish there was something more I could do, but all I have is to tell you you will be in my thoughts.
Posted by Abigail | June 24, 2008 7:44 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 19:44
Sweet mother of pearl… there are no words that heal or help.
Please take care of yourself and know that you are loved.
Posted by Kelly | June 24, 2008 7:55 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 19:55
I'm so very, very sorry to read this. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts here in N Ireland
Posted by WendyJ | June 24, 2008 8:44 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 20:44
I'm so, so sorry to hear about Irwin. I only met him a couple of times, but really liked him, and it was obvious you two were in love. That's so rare these days...savor it.
Please don't hesitate to ask if there's anything I can do to help. In the meantime, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by The Other Diana | June 24, 2008 8:51 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 20:51
I don't know you personally, but feel I do thru your blog. My heart goes out to you - my deepest sympathies to you. Although it's natural to do the "what if's?" please don't - as it serves no purpose. You are in my prayers.
Posted by Jana | June 24, 2008 9:07 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 21:07
I am so sorry for your loss-I cannot even begin to imagine your pain. You & your family are in my prayers.
Valerie
Posted by Valerie | June 24, 2008 10:04 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 22:04
Claudia, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know there are no words. I am grateful that you are surrounded by some very caring and wonderful people who will do anything they can to help. Holding you and yours in my thoughts and prayers...
Posted by Dani | June 24, 2008 10:05 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 22:05
Claudia, I don't know you (only through Jen's blog), but my heart is with you. Honestly, I think everyone who has seen that picture of you and Irwin and has someone special and close in their life...well, it just hits home, how fragile we all are. I send you love and every wish for the means to travel your journey in the best way that you can.
Posted by Lee Ann | June 24, 2008 10:08 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 22:08
Claudia, I discovered your blog last winter while surfing the Internet and fell in love with it. I've been reading with great interest about your stay in Germany and your visits with your family. When I read about the death of your husband this evening, it just broke my heart. I am so very sorry!! Please take very good care of yourself.
Posted by Cathy | June 24, 2008 10:26 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 22:26
Thinking of you and hurting for you, Claudia. Much strength to you, friend.
Posted by Kerry | June 24, 2008 10:34 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 22:34
Nell told me tonight. Forgive me, I am not much online these days. I've been weeping for you, because I have been where you are and know what it was like for me.
If there is anything I can offer you over the coming days, please let me know. You are in my thoughts and in my heart. Please remember you are not alone, okay?
Posted by Karen | June 24, 2008 10:34 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 22:34
Claudia,
I am so very saddened and sorry to hear about your loss. I remember meeting your husband at Main Street Yarns once--he was absolutely delightful, full of life, a great conversationalist, and so clearly in love with you. My heart is breaking for you. Steve and I both send you our love and deepest sympathies.
Posted by Anita | June 24, 2008 11:51 PM
Posted on June 24, 2008 23:51
I have no words. Only hugs. And love. And an offer to give you anything you need. Anything I can do.
You've been on my mind ever since I heard early this morning.
Much love.
Posted by Katey | June 25, 2008 12:11 AM
Posted on June 25, 2008 00:11
I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my prayers.
Posted by Sarah | June 25, 2008 12:25 AM
Posted on June 25, 2008 00:25
Claudia
please know you are in my thoughts. so sorry darling. if you need anything please let me know.
xoxo
jana
Posted by jana | June 25, 2008 8:42 AM
Posted on June 25, 2008 08:42
I'm so sorry - I will be thinking of you and wishing you strength.
Posted by Marisa | June 25, 2008 4:15 PM
Posted on June 25, 2008 16:15
So sorry for your unexpected loss, Claudia. I hope you have some comfort in knowing that we hold you in our thoughts and prayers.
Posted by Donna in Oregon | June 26, 2008 11:50 AM
Posted on June 26, 2008 11:50